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Girl - aMAZE
| 2013-08-28 00:00:17
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    IT’S YOUR WORLD—CHANGE IT! A LEADERSHIP JOURNEY THIS JOURNEY BELONGS TO: THE TWISTS AND TURNS OF GETTING ALONG enter no pressure “just kidding” SHARE Hello! NO gossip crushes letting go stop and think first impressions forgiveness listen TALK IT OUT Openness be yourself CONNECT VIRTUAL VS. REAL power struggle forgive JEALOUSY diplomacy LAUGH bullies frenemies hang CONFIDENCE true friends out something new exit TRUST peace

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    TRUST When you talk to a friend about the friendship you share, lots of opinions, ideas, and feelings are bound to come up. That’s a good thing. To feel safe about sharing with others, set some guidelines you both can agree to. Here are some sample “rules” to get you started: • This conversation is between us; no gossiping afterward! • Let’s remember that we both care about each other. • No silent treatment. Now that you know what kind of friend you want, and the kind of friend you want to be, why not turn those “wants” into an action plan. Create a Friendship Bill of Rights that spells out your rights and responsibilities in your friendships. Figure out: • what actions a friend may take that justify ending your friendship • what types of situations require going to a trusted adult for help • what other information should be included Sign the document to represent your commitment to the values included in the bill. Place your Bill of Rights where it will be most useful as a reminder of your dedication to your friends (on your computer monitor, as wallpaper on your cell phone, inside your locker door). 38

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    For better relationships, I will: For Your Peacemaker aker Kit Why are true friends one of the most remarkable treasures human beings have? What is one quality or skill you are going to try to use more often in your friendships? What is one idea you can suggest to help other people improve their friendships? How could one or two of the ideas you had in this section of aMAZE create more peace in your world? 1931 After a lifetime of advocacy for women’s rights, racial equality, labor reform, social justice, and pacifism, Jane Addams is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. She’s the first American woman to receive it. 39

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    Friendship Obstacles Ever feel pressured to do one thing when your gut (which is usually in tune with your values) tells you to do another? That’s a pretty common obstacle in the maze of friendships. In fact, you’ll probably encounter it in one form or another all your life. Do this. Don’t do that. Fit in. Stand out. Be different. Not so different. Be strong. Not too strong. Get good grades. Why are you carrying all your books around? You’ve got a flair for style. You’re wearing that?! So take a stand—right now! Pressure isn’t just what others do to you. It’s also what you might be doing to others. Build up your courage! Make decisions that represent your true self and maybe even inspire others to do the same. Under Pressure Peer pressure can be negative or positive. It can also be silent. Here’s an example of silent peer pressure from Melinda, who’s 15: Once when we had a substitute teacher, a couple of the class clowns pranked her by screeching “oy” every time her back was turned. It got really annoying after a while, and the teacher got very upset, but no one told her who was doing it. Telling on a classmate is pretty much social suicide. 40 Are there rules about where to sit at lunchtime or on the bus? About the kinds of clothing that are “in”? These are also examples of “silent” peer pressure. Can you think of others?

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    Have you ever . . . • changed your appearance or clothing style to please others? • done something wrong because you thought it would make you fit in (shoplifting, drinking, smoking . . .)? • not done something you really wanted to do because kids you want to be friends with weren’t doing it? • pushed your friend to do something she really did not feel comfortable doing? • made fun of someone who said “no” to something everyone else was doing? • gone along with the crowd to the mall or the movies even though there were other activities you really would have enjoyed more? • decided something was “too corny” for you because you saw other kids rolling their eyes, even though you thought it was nice? • given away answers to a test or a tough homework assignment just to please other kids? (That’s different from teaching someone something they don’t know!) • done something against important beliefs of your family? • silently gone along with something that you knew was just mean? • dropped friends because other “friends” didn’t like them—even though you really did? • done something else you think was a form of peer pressure? 41

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    Identify Your Issue and Brainstorm a Solution There’s so much going on in the maze of friendships. How do you find an issue that others in your world really need to deal with, too? And once you grab the issue, what solutions might you create? Here are a few ways to get you thinking about what a “Diplomat” Take Action Project might look like. Organize a “mini-maze” workshop (or two or 10) for younger girls, at a school, within Girl Scouting, at your place of worship, or wherever else you belong where you can guide younger girls to better interactions! Take some of the examples you have used on your way through aMAZE and adjust them so they are engaging and meaningful for younger girls. Add some fun sparks, and off you go. Can you think of a closing that invites the girls to also pass on to others something they learn from you? Or maybe your school or an organization you belong to can set this workshop up and offer it once a year—even after you’re out of the picture. If younger girls knew more about... they would be better able to... even before they leave elementary school... and we might even... If more people at our school would just... then we would all be more... 115

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